Official Website of Author Jason Beymer

Rogue's Curse and Nether available in all e-formats

Monday, August 30, 2010

The "Name Your Pet Clovort" Contest

Rogue's Curse is available for download at Lyrical Press and, but I'm itching to email one shiny copy to someone. This is my first contest, so I'll make it simple. And no, I'm not giving away a pet clovort. That would be illegal. Clovorts are nasty monsters with a taste for human flesh. They'll eat anyone—and I mean ANYONE—which makes them efficient disposals of homicidal evidence. So yes, they come in handy. But no, you can't have mine.

What does a clovort look like? Well, Oompus is the first clovort you'll meet in Rogue's Curse. He stands 8 feet tall and weighs 600 pounds. Here's an excerpt describing his entrance:

"The clovort’s bull-like head quivered and his lips parted, revealing jagged yellow teeth. His face was bumpy, as if layered over solid bedrock. His bare, squat legs rippled with muscle at the calf, but were fleshy and gelatinous at the thigh. Oompus’s hoofed feet, obscured by long ankle hair, clopped against the floor, barely supporting the extraordinary weight of his naked frame."

Cute, huh? Here's how to enter the drawing:

STEP ONE: Comment on this blog post with an answer to "What would you name your pet clovort?"

STEP TWO: "Follow" or "Like" me on at least one of these:

If you already do, then you've already completed this step.

That's it. I may even use your pet clovort's name in the sequel to Rogue's Curse. You can comment as many times as you'd like, but you only get one entry. If you're feeling creative, tell me who you might feed to a clovort, how you would dress it, etc.

On Monday, September 13th, I'll throw all your names in a big imaginary top-hat. Either my pet clovort or my six-year old daughter will pull one out. Completely random. I'll announce the winner the same day. You tell me what format you want the eBook in and I'll email it to you.

Thanks, and please spread the word!


  1. I would name my pet clovort "Minnie." Not only for the delicious irony, but also because it could be a diminutive for "Minotaur." ;)

    I already follow you on Twitter, so consider me entered. :)

  2. Linda beat me to it, but I love names that are complete head turners. I would name my pet clovort "Kitty" just to watch people's reactions when I called to her.

  3. I would name my pet Clovort "Tinnell". I would teach him the ways of the Bully Arts and he and I would track down Steven Duncan and TJ Mason... and Tinnell would make them wish they were nicer to people in 6th grade.

    Afterwards, we would go to Chuck E. Cheese for some bad pizza and skeeball.

    Little known fact, Clovorts are naturals at skeeball.

  4. I would name my clovort Wilbur.


  5. I would name mine's Sylvester. and he'd eat all my ex-boyfriends. =]


  6. George, I call everything Georege lately.

    @MasterTyrion on Twitter, I already follow you

  7. umm......... Beklin

    Not sure why. Just made it up! :o)


  8. KEt me see. I would name mine Dimeadip.
    Just made mine up as well.
    debby236 at att dot net