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Sunday, August 8, 2010

101-Word Stupor -- The Tell-Tale Toe Tag

Keywords: Fungus, Pencil, Brazilian

"Uh, no I wasn't."
"Yes, you were. It's pretty obvious."
"They were brought in like that."
"With their sheets off? And why just the pretty ones? Why not Mrs. Pencil in the Eye, Miss Botched Autopsy, or Miss Dragged from the Lake fungus thighs?"
"Here, check out this toe tag."
"On Miss Brazilian bikini wax?"
"Yeah. It says 'Please take my sheet off.'"
"That's written in black ink."
"Uh-huh."
"It's fresh black ink."
"So?"
"You have black ink on your hand."
"Your point?"
"And you're not wearing pants."
"I'm…um…I'm Union."
"Oh. Union?"
"Yep. Union."
"So how are the dues?"
"Can't complain."

Keyword preview for tomorrow: Marmalade, Potent, Hypnotic 

3 comments:

  1. CROUCHING AESTHETICIAN, HIDDEN DOMINATRIX

    “What I do for you?” she yells, straddling her pedicure stool, pencil behind one ear, and up to her elbow in other people’s fungus.

    “Oh, I just need a wax,” I said, kinda whispering that last word, which you only ever do when you’re not talking eyebrows.

    “Your lip?” she yells back. All heads turn toward me.

    “Well, no,” I respond, self-consciously raising my hand over my mouth. Heads volley back to her.

    “Arms? Legs? Back?” she yells again, eyeing me up and down.

    “No. No. And no, thanks.”

    “Ooooh,” she says with a sadistic gleam in her eye. “Brazilian!!”

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  2. Arms, legs, back. "Crouching Aesthetician." You are awesome.

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