Official Website of Author Jason Beymer

Rogue's Curse and Nether available in all e-formats

Friday, August 6, 2010

101-Word Stupor -- On the Barbie

Keywords: Ink, Hamburger, Koala

The koalas know the Outback; they know to stay away. Chester sniffs and raises one paw, halting his army. They see the koala's face: hamburger. Bulbs blink in the alley and showcase the others. Tommy vomits; Chester slaps him. One of the bodies coughs and spasms, its blood puddling like ink from a toppled blotter. Still alive… Chester doesn't think; he runs. "Where's Joey?" he asks. "Where's my boy?" Two pulpy eyes drift toward the alley door. Time to show these bastards that koalas aren't just cute, cuddly and good for beer sales. Time to koala-up, and kick some Aussie ass. 

Preview for tomorrow (and feel free to suggest your own): Bologna, Crater, Abstain 



    Driving up El Camino Real through San Mateo County, you can’t help but notice an inordinate number of eucalyptus trees majestically lining the sides of the road. Their trunks stretching up through the soft, wet blanket of fog, branches reaching, leaves pleading, trying desperately to find their way back home. And you wonder, how the hell did you get here, in this place with no koalas without zoo parking? You with your fibrous shedding bark. Your fragrant healing oils that flow like ink and smell like rain. Australia is worlds away from California. Oooh, look, an In-and-Out, who wants a hamburger?

  2. Excellent piece. And true. Those trees look so out of place here. Whose idea was that, anyway?

  3. Thanks, Jason. Here's a quick link I found with a little of the history: