Official Website of Author Jason Beymer

Rogue's Curse and Nether available in all e-formats

Saturday, April 21, 2007

'Twas a Wonderful World (or Potty Training in Hell)

(Sung to the tune of What a Wonderful World)

I saw trees of green, red roses too
I saw them bloom for me and you
And I thought to myself, what a wonderful world


I see stool of brown and yellow pee
The bright blessed smell, that overtakes me
And I think to myself, 'twas a wonderful world

The colors in the toilet, I shake my head and sigh
Are also in your trousers, like splattered chocolate pie
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I smell poo."

I hear babies cryin', insane I go
I'm sorry pampers, I didn't know
And I think to myself, you're still my little girl
Yes, I think to myself, 'twas a wonderful world.

Oh yeah

(Original un-bastardized lyrics by George Weiss and Bob Thiele. My apologies fellas)


  1. So, here I am on the internet, trying to figure out a creative way in telling my daughter that in 8 months, she is no longer going to be an only child...looking for some sort of advise from pretty much anyone (desperate, yes)...and your blog is the first thing that pops up. You don't know how much I needed this laugh today. You ROCK, keep it up!