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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Drunken Thoughts - McRude

• My family and I just spent a week in Nebraska. My wife is Thai and my daughter is Chinese. That information might not seem relevant when discussing a visit to "America's Heartland", but try this on for size: In the entire week we were there, we only saw two asians. And they were both at the airport.
My wife pulled up to the drive-thru window of a Nebraska McDonalds and ordered lunch. Before she could get too far into the order, a very rude and frazzled cashier came on the speaker and said "We aren't serving lunch for another five minutes."
My wife responded, "Okay. Can I just order it and pull up? I don't mind waiting."
"No. You'll have to come back in five minutes."
So she did. She parked, waited, then pulled back up to the drive-thru speaker.
When she started ordering again, he stopped her. "(Heavy sigh)..Okay, I don't understand. You don't want cheese on the burger?"
"That's correct. No cheese on the burger."
"Okay. Hold on. Arg."
"Is there a problem."
"Sigh. No. Just...Just hold on."
When she finally drove up to the window to retrieve her food, the cashier looked down at her and shook his head.- realization creeping over his pimpled face. He whispered something to his co-worker who laughed. Then he handed her the cheese-less burger.
You know how McDonalds puts stickers on the food containers to indicate any special requests? For salads, they sometimes put "Ranch, Italian, Thousand Island, etc" on the package. For burgers, if you ask for No Cheese you get a sticker that says "No Cheese" on it.
Not this time.
My wife - after making life so difficult for that poor white cashier - stared at the container holding the burger. The container had the word "Asian" on it.

• Is Katie Couric starting to look like Rosie O'Donnell, or is it just me? Lay off the Ho-Hos honey.

• Bob Barker, the host of The Price is Right is retiring after 50 years on TV. The 83 year old will be turned off, decommissioned, and stored in a moth-balled crate next to Dick Clark and Ed McMahon.

•In "News of the Creepy", the women's bathroom just got emancipated. Transgender men are now free to use the Ladies Room at subway stations in New York. Legally they are allowed to use either one. Since this court ruling, there have been at least 813 reported cases of toilet seats being left up in women's restrooms all over New York.

Personally, I'm fine with the decision. Hell, I've decided to keep a wig and a skirt in the trunk of my car just in case the men's room is ever locked.


  1. The McDonalds story makes me want to drive to Nebraska just to punch that cashier in the teeth. I'm sure he thought he was oh-so-clever.

    I once drove through Nebraska (is there any other reason to go there except when you're on your way somewhere else?) listening to Springsteen's Nebraska album. I don't recommend the combination.

  2. To bad the people running for office don't respect the sweat of those folks. A trip to the polling place is like going to the day old bread store, a few days late.