Contestants are given challenges - tests of strength, mental puzzles, socializing with the opposite sex, and trying to keep their Dork Levels in check. The winner receives a role in a Stan Lee movie and comic book.
Auditions were held in a warehouse. Hundreds of folks itching to become the next great superhero piled inside like cattle to a dairy farm - unbathed and unkempt. Words like Spiderman, Superman and Batman rolled off their tongues repeatedly, while words like Degree, Right Guard and Mitchum were as unfamiliar to them as sunlight. With all the costumes, it looked like a Rave party gone wrong - like someone replaced the Exstacy with crystal meth or low grade Heroin.
Meet Some Heroes
Sparks flew immediately when Creature said "I'm a little worried about young people seeing donuts as part of loving your body." Shut up and drink your grass juice, dirty hippy.
The First Challenge
Took place in the middle of the city. All contestants began the challenge in street clothes. When paged, they had to change into their superhero costume as inconspicuously as possible then race to the finish line.
A little girl stood directly in the path to the finish line, crying for her mommy. Obvious plant. So here's the dilemma: Ignore the little girl and achieve the best time possible? OR stop to help the little girl and risk losing the challenge? Gee, unless your IQ is smaller than your cod piece, I think you'd have to save the child, don't you? Now let's see what choices the heroes made:
"Mommy, mommy! I can't find my mommy."
Surprise, idiots! The challenge wasn't "Who could complete the task the fastest" but "Who stopped to save the little girl." In the end, Stan Lee eliminated Nitro for his glaring powers of stupidity. I still picture him behind the one foot wall, bare ass in the air, waving at all the spectators while he changed into his costume - a confident, yet vacant smile on his face.
This show has potential. Until next week...Excelsior, mother f@&kers!!!!