Survivor: Exile Island - My machete fights plaque, too.
The Amazing Race
The hippies were tasked with finding a colored ticket. However, the ticket was hidden amongst a ton of clean laundry. I repeat - Clean Laundry. Hippies. Red Alert! Here are my observations:
1) Does clean laundry stink to hippies the way dirty laundry stinks to humans?
2) They've sorted through other people's clean laundry in the past. The only difference is this time they're not searching for spare change and bits of food.
3) Watching Hippies sort through clean laundry is like watching the host of National Geographic interact with a tribe of pygmies that have never seen a white man before. Uncomfortable, yet fascinating.
4) I kept waiting for one of the hippies to say "Hey Check it out! These people bought their underwear without the cool racing stripe down the center."
5) Clean Laundry is to Hippies what
a) Oil is to Water
b) an axe is to a tree
c) a script is to Uwe Boll.
d) a vagina is to a Teletubby
Mr. Pimp collects Team Prostitute
Alas, Team Prostitute has been eliminated from the race. I have prepared a eulogy for them:
Like the hot chick in a snuff film, the end was inevitable. We wave goodbye to America's most famous reality show prostitutes. But don't cry for them. They've made a few bucks here and there and learned many valuable lessons - Gargle with salt water to clear up the sores, check the currency rate of the Deutchmark before agreeing to anal sex, and the Free Clinic in Brazil is nicer than the one in Germany. But for conversation, nothing beats the clinics in the good ol' USA.
Goodbye girls. Your saliva may have transferred the Clap, but it also transferred warmth and love. Do not ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for your shot of penicillin. And though you'll be missed by health departments across the globe, you are not forgotten. The new strain of Herpes in Brazil and the resistant form of Gonorrhea you left in Russia will carry on your legacy.