Survivor: Exile Island - Strategy for Idiots
American Inventor - I'm okay! I landed on my head.
The first thing I noticed was the inventor's girlfriend. She didn't look quite right. It was that "Not-Quite-Right" look that you and I tilt our heads at, but Maury Povich and his producers whack off to. The inventor offered an explanation: While watching the sunset one night, his girlfriend fell off a 40 foot cliff. She yelled up at him "Please call for help." Instead of calling for help, he threw his jacket down to her. The cell phone was inside the jacket. Woops.
After the judges threw him out, he got upset and yelled "We put $15,000 into this invention and that's money we don't have." Somehow, that line didn't surprise me.
He turned to his girlfriend and said the most romantic line in TV history:
"I'm glad you asked me to do this. You mean the world to me. You take me to my doctor's appointments. Every day you take out my medicine and in the morning you help with my neck traction. I love you."
If my wife is reading this, don't worry about the medicine, the doctor's appointments or the neck traction. Just keep changing my diapers. Love ya, honey.
He answered "I gave up my marriage and a kidney." They asked him why he gave up a kidney and he replied "I gave it up for Karma. It made me feel valid. My son needs a hero."
Welcome to San Francisco, judges! None of them could believe this guy's attitude as he stood there with his 8 year old son. The British judge actually tried to reason with him. He told him to stop inventing and focus on his kid. I smiled at my TV. Silly Brit. I thought. You're in the Land of Entitlement now.
Sure enough, even after they told him that his invention sucked he defiantly stated "I'm just going to continue what I'm doing. This is me. I'm an inventor." Uh-huh. How come nobody ever says "I'm just going to continue what I'm doing. This is me. I'm unemployable."