Katie reminds me of Carrie Fisher circa 1991. Still plenty hot. Two years later, I saw her interviewed on TV. And if it wasn't for the words "Carrie Fisher" on the bottom of the screen I would've sworn I was looking at her father.
When Tom Cruise ditches Katie Holmes to move onto his next blank slate (er, I mean Love Interest), Katie will be a broken down Eddie Fisher lookin' Scientologist with a bunch of Melmacs. Lord L. Ron have mercy.
PROS - No shagging balls, no physical exertion, cheapest xBox 360 game available.
CONS - It's ping pong.
Several hack comedians including Robert Klein, Rich Little and Robin Williams were visibly shaken by this news since the mysterious disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa constitutes 80% of their stand-up material. I suspect that when Rich Little was approached for comment he said - in his best Johnny Carson - "I did not know that. That's weird, wild. Wacky stuff."
Albert, you better keep your potentially 'roided mouth shut, or else some of us will start asking how a guy that bats an average of 45 home runs each season is suddenly on pace to double that total this year.
Bud Selig echoed Pujols by telling everybody to lay off Bonds. Selig, you're the Commissioner. Commission, for God's sake. Maybe we wouldn't be so pissed off if somebody was actually trying to do something about it. Here's what Selig has done so far:
b) Told everybody to shut up.
c) Hired George Mitchell to "Investigate" the Steroid abuse. George Mitchell: The chairman of the board of the Walt Disney Company, the parent company of ESPN and (drum roll please) the network responsible for the "Bonds on Bonds" reality TV show. Hmm. Good choice, Bud. He doesn't have a vested interest in keeping Barry's ass in Baseball, does he?
Why don't you just ask Bonds to "Pinky Swear." It might hold more credibility.