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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Kick in the Pants

When you're watching a preview for a new comedy film, do you still laugh at the "Man getting hit in balls" joke? Do you chuckle when the Director adds the obligatory shot of onlookers grimacing? Are you that one guy in the packed theater that yells "OOOH!! That had to hurt!" and gives your buddy a high-five? If so, then you might want to stop reading this. I'm only going to further insult your intelligence.

"Man getting hit in balls" has become the Gold Standard. Every Comedy that Hollywood craps out must have a preview that shows a man getting injured in the crotch region. Hollywood is constantly hard at work creating unique contributions to the art of ball slamming.

Here are just a few examples from previews of recent releases.

1) The Hot Chick - Man kicked in nuts by Rob Schneider.

2) Just Friends - Snow ball hits man in groin.

3) Bad News Bears - Baseball hits boy in family jewels.

4) Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - Steve Martin falls on log and injures groin. Makes funny face.

5) Big Mamma's House 2 - Big Momma kicks man in crotch.

6) She's the man - Girl pretending to be boy gets hit in groin with soccer ball.

7) Benchwarmers - Ball shot out of lawnmower hits David Spade in the crotch.

8) The Wild - Koala Bear (yes, Koala Bear) lands on fence and injures groin

9) Larry the Cable Guy - Man throws soccer ball at wall, it bounces back and hits his nuts.

10) Munich - Man kicked in nuts by Rob Schneider.

Okay, so I made the last one up. But you get my point. It would be easier for me to list the comedy previews that DON'T have someone getting clocked in the balls. It only took me a few minutes to find these nine examples. If you can add to the list, please do.

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