The male should equip himself with the Cape of Stamina and the Cod-piece of the Horse prior to any sexual activity. He should also have the Potion of Invisibility handy in case a quick exit becomes necessary.
Most importantly, he should always remember to drink the Elixir of Blindness before attempting penetration. In the event that the Elixir of Blindness wears off during intercourse, he must close his eyes and ask the female to kindly drink the Potion of Invisibility. Otherwise, he may come to find out that the big-breasted female he brought home with him is really a 300 pound unwashed computer programmer from Detroit with five day's growth and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
This is also posted on Fanboy Planet in a much nicer format.